Tuesday, July 26, 2011

My light will shine in the dark.

Therapeutic post, Take 2.

I got my groove back. My motivation. It's burning within me again. I wish I could thank a friend like Josh Morris, or Gary Williams (if you haven't seen these two people's before and after pictures, OMG!) but it wasn't them. It was, the one and only, Captain America. More so, a mixture of Dylan, Jeremy, a few girls, and Captain America.

Several days ago, when the siblings and myself were hanging out at my mom's house, a commercial for Captain America came on. We watched it, Dylan and I giggled just counting down the clock to when the movie would premier and we could watch the film. The scene where he comes out of that machine shows him ripped. If you haven't seen this scene yet you live under a rock..
Anyway, the dudes in shape, CRAZY in shape. My heart both drops because I don't look like that, but beats slightly faster because of the envy I have towards him. The want to look like him just stirs in me. I happened to say out loud, "Man I wish I could look like him."
Jeremy, being a realist, goes, "That's difficult to do, you gotta realize they pay him to train probably 8 hours a day between shoots and give him all of the perks to do so."
I had to agree, after all, I saw that man in the Fantastic Four, he was thin then.
Once again my heart drops, Jeremy's comment just makes that goal my envy self made that much farther from reaching.

Fast forward about two weeks. I'm sitting at my desk at work, twiddling my thumbs or playing on Facebook, when Dylan sends me a text, "In line to see the midnight premier of Cap'." I groan and tell my co-workers, they groan with me. Anyway, I tell Dylan to have fun and leave it at that.
A couple of hours later, Dylan texts me again, "Awesome movie! Movie makes me want to be a super hero!" Now, for those who read the previous posts, Dylan's logical, very logical. Something like this text really set me aback, because he just doesn't think like that. How GOOD could this movie be to make him fantasize about heroism?

After work (the next day), I meet up with my friend Ace and we see the 8:05AM movie of Captain America at AMC. That same scene of when the Cap comes out of his transformation ripped and ready for action, Ace whispers to me, "he's really hot." and later says it again, that its hot that you can see his abs through his white shirt.

A few days later I see a movie with another friend. She says the same. Exact. Thing. Almost exact anyway, close enough it caught me off guard.

That same day, after I saw the movie, I saw that same scene on a commercial, and instead of being envious, my brain went competitive. 
Why couldn't I look like that? Why CAN'T that be my goal? Sure I would have to do more proper planning, more work out, and better dieting, and that's a far off goal, but that can STILL be my goal.

I can show Jeremy that I can do that, despite the trainers and free nutrition the actor received.

If Dylan can be inspired to fantasize about the what-if of being a super hero? Why couldn't I take that a step further and try to look like him?

And I want to be attractive in that way towards women. I mean, don't get me wrong, my self esteem is through the roof, but that instant "I want you now" look is just something unavailable to most guys, (damn those accents.) 

There was one last thing.. I watch Extreme Makeover: Weight loss edition (FANTASTIC SHOW btw) to try to help motivate me. The quick rundown, its about obese people getting into shape. Now I'm not Obese, but, at the same time, my goal isn't to necessarily lose weight, just gain the right weight.
One of the guys on the show said, "I get knocked down and I just got right back up, every time I failed just made me want to succeed more."
And that really got me going... I know I have failed at nutrition and exercise multiple times. But I had succeeded once, and I can succeed again. I am not going to let my past failures bother me anymore, I am going to use them as fuel to make me succeed this time.

I'm taking a small hiatus from Arizona and visiting a friend in Oklahoma for a few days. When I get back, I get serious. I will have just gotten paid, its the month of my birthday, and its a starting point. A solid fond farewell to fast food and junk food. 

I have chosen to start another blog strictly for weight/workout related things. I will leave the link at the bottom, but its to document my progress, keep me on track, and allow friends and family to keep tabs on me. You don't need to follow it as I will probably post one-three times a day (I'm hoping). Any crazy posts will probably be documented here as well anyway.

I will probably post something next Tuesday, till then I'm out

"My light will shine in the dark, while yours will dim in weakness as my wings take flight before your eyes!!" - Brenda's favorite quote. (Original source: Unknown)
~Just a thought.

EDIT: www.projectme-shepsus.blogspot.com is the workout blog, for those interested.

1 comment:

  1. Eh. Prolly easier to just get an accent... and equally effective :P. Kidding. Good luck!